Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Time Away From My Babies

Here's the pic of my "babies" as they head off to spend time with Mimi & Papa on Tuesday. After a "scare" with what I think maybe might have been contractions on Sunday my mom a.k.a Mimi offered to take the kiddos for a few days. Still have daycare kiddos during the day, but my evenings can be productive or restful depending on how I feel. Letting them go really is a hard thing for me. There are many days I wish to escape and have a break, but when it comes down to's hard to have them away! Why is that...

Control: I'm the mommy. It's my job. My responsibility- I've chose to keep having more :). They grow so quickly I should cherish each moment and more so WANT each moment with them. Right?!

Guilt: I'm supposed to be there for any need they have. I'm supposed to be there in the night, when they fall or especially when they're naughty!! :) I don't want them to be a burden to anyone else. Guilt that they are gone, Guilt that I'm relieved they're gone! :)

Worry: I know they can be loud & sassy. I worry that we need to get Aidan sleeping better and in his bed. I worry we need to get a better handle on Emma's, shall we say, attitude. How can I do that if I ship them away disrupting their schedules??

More Guilt: My mom is so busy helping others I hate using her summer vacation time...especially when I still have 10 weeks left of this pregnancy and possibly could need her more later on in the summer!

Mixed Emotions: The house is soooo quiet without them. When they're here it's chaos and noise, when they're gone it's great for maybe a day...then it just feels empty.

We met Tuesday evening to have dinner and make the "exchange". I think Mimi & Papa were tired before dinner was over as the kids were super excited and talking a mile a minute. As I watched the green car pull away heading North my heart felt heavy. Emma was a bit unsure about going as she didn't think it was fair that I was going to get a "peace & quiet drive". I assured her she could quiet down and their drive could have peace & quiet too! :) Aidan was unsure too. Pulling my heart strings saying his new favorite phrase "me scared" (as he puts his hands together in front of his chest, under his chin) "Scared Mommy". Awe...he's sooo darn cute! So as you can tell I'm missing them bunches, YET getting soooo much done! I've picked up a few rooms that remain, 24 hours later, STILL picked up. Amazing! Also when I lay my head down on the pillow at stays there until I decide (or my alarm) to lift it up!! No 3 a.m. wake up call from Aidan, no soggy diapers in the night...just sleep.

I've balanced the checkbook, paid bills, caught movie & dinner with hubby, gathered my grocery list & coupons, went grocery shopping (at the new Dillons!!) as we were out of EVERYTHING (as in down to condiments!!), cleaned the fridge, picked up, helped...or watched Matt make VBS decorations, loads of laundry and planned preschool VBS lessons. My hopes before they return: finish laundry, complete Daycare State Paperwork, update daycare receipts, clean a bit more- Emma's room, finish bedroom curtains, sort & label pics on the computer, finish VBS planning, start MOPS brainstorming, find the top of the computer desk, and who knows what else I HOPE & DREAM of workin' on!

Distance makes my heart grow fonder. By their return on Saturday my patience account should be filled up and anxious to see them. I'm grateful my mom is so willing to help and give of her time. I pray the time they spend with her will be a memory they hold dear as I do time spent in MO with my Grandma Brennan or on the farm with Grandma Burnett when I was a child.

So ta ta for now...back again when they've returned, I'm exhausted and wishing for my next "break" :)


Tamara McKee said...

Oh, my friend...I have totally felt your emotions right now. I completely understand. As I sit here hiding in my bedroom from my children hoping for a day or two of relief and the summer has just begun. I feel real bad wanting time to myself when before we know it my baby will be off to Kindergarten ALL day. What am I to do!? I feel the guilt, the worry, and the uncertainty of it all. I hope you get tons done and get refreshed and renewed for the remainder of your summer and pregnancy. I am here if you need anything!

thepartridgefamily said...

You deserve a break now and then too. I understand how you feel, but it is for them as well as you (remember that). They need a happy healthy mommy. Take care of yourself.

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