I write to you because I'm needing some prayer and as I glance through my FB friends list I see I am wonderfully blessed with friends, family and members of my church body that will assist me. So many of you have been so kind, supportive and caring before, during and since Isaac's arrival and we are so appreciative and blessed to be surrounded by such a caring group!
As some of you know I had a stint of high blood pressure following Aidan's delivery and Isaac's has been no different. A week ago it got high enough they put me on meds. I thought I was feeling better for a day or two and then the pounding/throbbing headache returned which makes sleep almost impossible especially when you factor in the newborn and other 2 night wandering children. I went in for my follow up BP check today and found my BP was higher than before. Thus they doubled my BP meds and gave me another medication to calm my heart rate, bring down my BP and assist in relief from the headache. (the 800 mg motrin and percocet from delivery gave no relief to the headache)
While at the Dr. I also mentioned that I'm experiencing more bleeding after this delivery than with the previous 2. I almost didn't mention it b/c I thought it might be from the BP, or the loss of blood I experienced after the birth OR caused by the strain due to the massive cough/chest congestion with the cold I currently have. I had contacted my OB's nurse today and she shrugged it off and said it could continue for 6 weeks. Well, I'm glad I mentioned it to my family Dr. today. Gals this is prime example on listening to your own body! The Dr. issued a sonogram of my uterus for right then. The radiologist read it immeditatly following the sono. I really thought it was probably a bit overboard and not necessary. Well...the sono shows I have pooling of the blood in the endometrium lining and uterus that is in excess of what I should have 2 weeks following giving birth. SO, they are scheduling me to see my OB on Monday or Tuesday of next week. They said it is a problem that will not fix itself and I will continue to bleed until it's fixed. The only way she really mentioned fixing it (although made it also sound like there's other ways) is a DNC. To be honest the whole idea of that a few weeks after giving birth is frightening to me, plus my sister has had one and had some significant complications so that futhers my fears. I also dread that each week of my maternity "break" from work is filled with Dr. appointments for either me or Isaac. He and I have been to the Dr. 6 times in the last 2 weeks!!! ugh!! And now perhaps a procedure in my future as well!
My mom and dad met us tonight (Fri) to take the older two which is a huge blessing, yet floods me with emotions of guilt and sadness. There were several times after having Aidan and those complications that Emma was shipped here and there. I hoped and prayed this time would be different. I would "know" what I was doing, have a healthy happy baby and we'd enjoy 4-6 weeks at home. Yet all I feel I've done is ship the older 2 off here and there...sometimes overnight sometimes just for the evening. It tears me up. Poor Emma has been through so many changes the past few weeks. Her little emotions are out of wack right along with mommy's. Aidan has not handled Emma being at school very well. I do hope I'll be allowed some time of rest this weekend and I pray the older 2 have a great time with Mimi.
It's interesting how things work. I remember after having Aidan that first night I told Matt how amazing it is that we were blessed with 2 healthy babies. Only then to struggle with minor medical issues and a very fussy Aidan for that first year. After Isaac's arrival we repeated those same words and I shared some of those feelings of amazement and blessings on my blog. And while Isaac is a very healthy little boy, it seems to be mommy's body struggling this time!! I'm trying so hard to focus beyond all my pains and yucky feelings to enjoy each moment of Isaac being tiny and balance time with the other 2, particularly Emma as she starts school. I don't want to dwell where my mind sometimes goes- when my head can take no more and all I hear is the throbbing feeling as though these precious moments are being stolen from me.
So, to wind this down (soooo should have blogged this, but didn't really figure the men friends and family lurking around facebook would want all these girly medical details or read my dumping of emotions!!) some specific things I could use your prayer for...
BP under control
Bleeding to stop, excess blood disappear! Our God CAN do that!!
Chest cold go away!!
The kiddos particularly Emma and Aidan with all the transitions
My attitude, patience and for peace- no more mommy guilt!
Matt- my rock & supporter as he balances work, kiddos and pitiful me!! :)
And to find praise in this situation- even with all these things I am truly blessed. There are plenty of folks out there that have much more serious and major health issues than what I am experiencing.
Congrats if you made it all the way through this!! Thank you girls!! Sorry for the rambling length of this, but I wanted to convey how appreciative I am of your calls, chats & visits of support you have given me, wanted to keep you all up to date and beg of your prayers!!
Thanks again & God bless!
That's our day in a nutshell. Come next week I think I'll be quite relieved that Emma is gone. It'll guarantee me a nap each day as Aidan and Isaac are good afternoon nappers!! I do think it'll take a toll middle of next week on Emma. She has Thurs & Fri of this week to break her in. She was a bit frustrated that she couldn't remember her teachers name. I assured her that was ok since we didn't even find out who her teacher was until we walked in the door this AM! Mommy was frustrated by that too! She loved the school lunch today which was actually breakfast. She was super excited about little smokies!?!? She said her favorite part today was making the craft (a coloring booklet about the color red) and singing. I guess I hadn't mentioned that she would have music class. She was supppppper excited about that! I feel very blessed that she had a teacher that goes to our church and has 2 children from our church in her class. One thing I'm trying to be ok with (as a mommy) well make that two things. One, no nap. I know a nap time for the whole year is not necessary, but maybe a quiet time or something the first semester or even 9 weeks. Two, she is in a class in which the teachers job share. One teacher in the AM and a different in the PM. I know kids handle change well, but the consistency freak in me thinks that might be a bit much for Kindergartners.
Here's some pics of the new Stout Sprout!! I'm posting these real quick and will share more news later, but I promised my princess & newest big sister I'd post some of the photos from yesterday so she could see them at Grandma’s house. So, here they are Emma! Remember Mommy & Daddy love you very much and are so happy to have your as our PRINCESS among Prince Aidan and Isaac!
But then as I reflect I have to know where these doubts come from!! I really feel like my emotions are being attacked and confused to distract from the miracle that is happening. The miracle that my 3 pregnanceis and 2 babies so far have been. I feel so blessed to be able to say I had no major or even minor complication during all of my 120 weeks of pregnancies!! Just think about how awesome the design of a developing baby, the way God made our bodies to adapt and endure the whole pregnancy and birth process! It's simply is so miraculous you can hardly get your mind around it!! I've been excited from the beginning to hold this baby! I know I'm capable as a mother to do the best I can...not always on my own and not always perfect, but with help from friends and guidance the ONE who created and designed each precious child for me!
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