Tuesday, December 13, 2011

{?!???say.what????!?!}

Here’s how the story unfolded for those curious…

Monday 12.5    Matt has an eval & meeting at work.  Casually mentions it when he called on his way home from work that night.  Said we would talk about it when he got home.  We didn’t b/c we were packing him for his business trip out of town early the next AM.

Tuesday 12.6    Text Matt during the day asking if we would get a chance to talk to him & commented I was sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk about his eval the night before. Attend Emma’s music concert. We chat briefly that night about his time in TX.

Wednesday 12.7    After spending the evening  with my friend Megan & her kids I have another late night phone chat following his meetings in TX.  I again mention his eval as I sensed there was something not right in his voice.  His response had me worried something was wrong.  I of course go worse case scenario and worry he’s  “in trouble” or something.  He keeps saying “we’ll talk when I get home, I’d rather talk to you in person”.  That was NOT easing my mind.  I don’t like surprises and don’t like waiting.  He asks several times “are you sure you want to know?”.  Uh-yeah!!! Duh!!! Then shortly before midnight he says it…

“I’ve been offered a promotion”

Now in .9995 milliseconds I can tell by his voice that location of said job promotion must NOT be in a distance I consider “close” to home.  I quickly knew if it was a job SIGNIFICANTLY closer to “home” he wouldn’t have waited to tell me!!

Atlanta.  No not his hometown in KS.  Georgia.  Land-o-Paula-Deen.  Peach state. Waaaaaay East state.  A state 2000 miles from where we are now.  2000 miles from where we JUST moved 17 months ago. Luckily several hundred miles closer to “home” state.

I was in shock.  All I could do was laugh and shake my head.  Honored for him that they offered him an awesome position.  Proud that he works so hard that they would even consider him.  Proud he started years ago mopping floors and working the cash register, never imagining he would be where he is now.

Thursday 12.8    (wee-hours of the AM) I start my praying & researching.  That AM I call a friend & prayer warrior to start helping double timing the prayers.

Later that morning I get a call from Matt’s lil sis.  We don’t talk on the phone nearly as often as we should.  I answer.  She’s calling to ask about my blood lab results from a few weeks back.  The ones that came back basically saying stress was causing lots of physical symptoms similar to early menopause/thyroid issues.  (Awesomeness…NOT)  She starts to reassure me by how the MOVE has been stressful.  Lots of changes with the MOVE.  I think she said MOVE about 10 times.  Or maybe not.  It seemed like it! Hehe.  So I bust out and tell her.  Poured it all out…then swore her to secrecy.  We were not going to get everyone stirred up before we could discuss and process it all.

I had thought that day to call another friend who had been through moves with her husbands job and had counseled me though our move here.  Lots in common…and another strong prayer warrior.  I opt not to call.  Hours later I get a random text (as we don’t text often) from her asking for my address for Christmas cards.  I tell her and follow it with a “for now…”  We end up talking that day and she shares with me the prospect of them moving again soon.  Crazy timing!!

Matt comes home that evening.  We don’t talk about it a lot.  Although I was feeling pretty positive about it.  He doesn’t seem to press the issue which made me feel pretty good and at ease.  I don’t like to feel rushed.

Friday 12.9    Crumble.  I crash.  A hot mess all morning. Panic.  Fear and full of doubt.  Super critical and angry at Matt. (all in my head…he was at work and unaware of the arguments we had in my head!! Ha!) Does he even care how hard this is on us?  He doesn’t deal with all the massive amounts of details involved in a move.  He doesn’t play constant contact with the relocation company.  Would he ever say no to something QT offered??  Has he prayerfully considered this or just flattered by the offer?!?!

Hateful.  Mean. That was me. And I knew what I was thinking was not coming from a place of truth.

Prayed lots.  Scoured the Bible for answers, but feeling so flustered I didn’t know where to go.  Nothing seemed to make sense.  I mean we followed God’s prompting to come here and were happy…only to leave again?!?! Then I stumbled across a passage in Genesis. (46:3,4 to be exact) The study notes on the verse hit me.  Who knew Genesis had more than the creation story. Hardyharhar.

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That last line was a kicker.  Thanks for the 2x4 across the head God. Why would I allow the fear and nervousness to overshadow ALL He has done for us in the last 1 1/2 years??  But I did.

I forced myself to go to the park with Megan & another lady in the neighborhood.  Kids played and it did me good to get out. That night Matt & I had plans for dinner & finishing Christmas shopping.  Luckily by then I had made up with him in my mind.  I did alert him that “we” had had a bad day.  I didn’t like him much and had exchanged “words” with him!  Pretty sure he looked at me like I was crazy…but he best be happy he wasn’t home for it!!

That night and at dinner I could feel a pull.  I could feel that this is where we were going.  I still kinda clung with white knuckles, clinched fists and stomped my feet like a tantrum throwing toddler.  But still felt it in my heart.

We had the chance to share our concerns.  He shared with me some of the doubts he had.  We talked about what course this could put us on.  We talked about what the course could be if we stayed.

On the way home I almost said “When are we telling our parents?” But then realized that meant we WERE doing this.  So I kept quiet.

Saturday 12.10   Better again today.  Teased that I couldn’t give him a YES. Still talked a lot of “what if, when, how,” and all those questions and theories.

Emma and I spent the day shopping for her bday party stuff.  Hard for me.  I’m not good at keeping something and my biggest fear and most dreaded feeling is how this will effect her.  As a person that NEVER moved I feel we are asking her to do 2 and probably another 3rd time down the road to do something I never had to do.  We had chinese food for lunch and these were our fortunes…mine on top, hers on the bottom.

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Guess Budda is in on this too??

Christmas parade in town Saturday evening.  Took Emma’s friend.  Cute to see what sweet friends she has made in the last year.  Sad to think this could be our last Christmas parade here.  In weather that makes a winter parade enjoyable. Probably only in southern AZ would this be in the Christmas parade…DSC09673

On the way home it slips out of my mouth…when are we telling our parents. AHH!! Noooooooooooooooo………….

So the process begins.  Telling parents that their grandbabies will be still away.  Actually a couple hours closer, but unfortunately in a location where Allegiant Air does NOT fly thus = more $$ visits. Boo.

Sunday 12.11   Church.  Man I’m going to miss that church. LOVE the worship.  Enjoyed our time spent serving there.  Many of our friends here now attend PVC. After church scoured the town for a laptop.  My life line during our last relocation.  Old one went kaput right before thanksgiving.  This is NOT the time of year to buy a reasonably priced laptop.  No luck. 

That evening went to a holiday tour of homes with my friend Megan.  So hard.  Hard to have this weighing on me and not tell her.  She had her finals for her semester of nursing school and didn’t want to hurt her focus on her exams.  SEVERAL times on the tour we were asked if we were sisters.  It has happened to us a lot. (Used to happen to a Derby friend & I too)  What do you think?

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It stings when that night she posts on FB about our new Christmas “tradition” together. Boo.

Monday 12.12    Preschool for Aidan.  Dr. apt for me.  Matt at work long enough to do payroll and accept the job.  Then home sick.  Dread all day knowing I would tell Megan and my mom the news.  Hard to share news that will effect others when you are cursed with the middle child peacemaker roll and allow others reactions to effect you like I do.  

Megan asks the boys and I to come over while Emma (big ears) is at Brownies.  Thanks God for the perfect opportunity to talk to her.  It was hard.  And sad.

Then the evening rolls on to the call to my mom.  She is understanding and supportive.  Thank goodness!

Tuesday 12.13    It’s official.  QT announced the move.  Matt’s first work trip out there around Jan. 16th.  Our first trip for house hunting…around the 2nd.  In 3 oh-so-short weeks.  Ohmyword!

And that’s that.  In a matter of 6 days I go from a content AZ resident to visions of boxes, house/insurance/packing forms & time with my new BFF (relocation agent).

Now to figure out when & how to tell Miss Emma…….ugh. Prayers please.

1 comments:

Jen Logan said...

Do you know where at in Atlanta? My parents live in Alpharetta and love it. They have a great church (http://www.northpoint.org/) and the schools there are great too. My parents moved my baby brother there for his Senior year of High School!! Luckily they got him into the High School where one of his best friends was. Not sure where Matt will be commuting to. Let me know if you want me to get any info from an insider (my Mom) :) We will be praying for you all!

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