I never imagined that just 9 short months after having Isaac and starting Emma in Kindergarten that on her last day of school we’d be listing our house to sell in preparation for a move!! Crazy change that only God could have done in my heart to bring us where we are!!

Below is my big girl on her first and last day of Kindergarten!!  Not a lot of change physically except a little bit of baby cheeks are gone, but TONS of change in her “personality”.  She knows more little recess rhymes and chants to jump rope or “patty-cake” to.  She is reading.  She learned some songs…that we’d rather her not know.  Escaped Kindergarten w/out Santa, Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny being exposed and no learning of any “4 letter words”.  She’s a total teacher pleaser and LOVED her two teachers- AM Ms. Beckwith and PM Ms. Brookes.  She never pulled a card even once…well there was this one time, but it didn’t go on her “record”. When I asked her last night what her favorite part of school was I was NOT surprised when she said “when we did arts and crafts”.  That’s my Ms. artsy Emma!

It is a bit sad to think she will be leaving her little friends behind.  Avery in particular.  They are close little friends!  They were all the other knew when starting school and enjoyed their time together at birthdays, play dates and recess.  It was a typical little girl relationship that was filled with  a bit of “love/hate”.  Drama city.  I often wondered what Avery’s mother and I would be in for 10 years down the road.  She’s been very brave (more brave than I!) about the move and making new friends!!  We’re looking hard to find a great school!

To think that on her first day of Kindergarten Isaac looked like this…

and is now doing THIS… (lighting not good…yes it’s Emma reading in the background!)

You blink and nine months are gone, then a year, then two years and next thing you know we’ll be getting her cap and gown…the graduation kind…not THE gown…Matt can’t handle discussing that!! :)

Now to see what the next 9 months hold…

That’s how long it’s been since I updated my blog.  I go and dump earth shattering news and then vanish!!  And the title also shares with you how long it seems to take to get info and get "the ball rolling”.  So, here’s what I’ve been up to…

- MOPS: has ended.  My “reign” as MOPS coordinator has come to an end.  It’s very sad for me.  I truly believe in the ministry and have enjoyed meeting moms and watching them grow. BUT I’m SUPER excited that God has provided many new and willing leaders to take over!

-Bible Study:  My late Tues night study grew from like 5 of us to almost 30!! Crazy.  I hadn’t planned on attending, but I was convinced by 2 friends that I MUST do the study!  I had to be convinced as the 6 week study was starting about 6 weeks ago as my world was crumbling.  Boy am I glad I did!  I must admit the homework I’ve not given as much time to, but the videos are amazing and speak to me each week.

-Matt’s last board meeting:  Matt’s roles in the church have come to an abrupt end.  There was one short month between our accepting the job and he leaving each week for training.

- I’ve struggled watching friends and family I love struggle with the emotions our decision has surfaced.  This has been a real lesson in how much our friends love us and accepting our family can be!! It’s sad that it’s in my coming absence that I now see the deep importance of time spend with family and friends.

- I apologize for my lack of updates on all “this”.  I’ve hesitated so many times posting updates because it could be very confusing to the reader…one day I’m on top the world seeing God’s hand all over this…and then there’s other days where I’m shocked, scared and fearful and blinded to any purpose or positive effects this could possible hold. But most importantly even in my deepest moments of fear I imagine/dream of telling Matt to stop the entire process and retract his acceptance of the job…but strangely enough that just doesn’t feel right.

- I’ve apologizing to Matt for my up and downs…wishing I was that wife he could say things about like “she’s handled it with such ease, she’s been super supportive and is very excited, her lack of stress makes this easier for me, and she’s so willing to deal with the relo details like it’s nothing!”

-Our little Kindergartner had her end of the year program.  She has 2 1/2 days left.  Where did the year go?  I’m not old enough to have a 1st grader!?!?!?

-Starting May 19th Matt is gone more than he’s home it seems.  What training he’s been to has him pumped up and ready to start.   He’s had nothing but positive comments about not only the job, but the people he’s working/training with.

-We finally have our AZ trip scheduled.  My mom has been gracious or crazy enough to take on our kiddos.  We’re hoping the 4 1/2 days spent in AZ will result in us finding our future home!  We I have been doing LOTS of looking online and have a realtor working with us now too.

-The house is close to hitting the market later this week.  My poor mother will probably bear the brunt of showings as she will be here the week following being listed!! Yikes! So, do you know anyone looking for a 4 bdrm house set up for kiddos!!???

- Hope to spend some of my down time on our AZ trip to prep for VBS!!  I’m in charge of the preschool program and have lots of ideas I need to get started on!!

- Another end for me is closing my daycare this week.  I am super busy this week so I think that will help me be distracted from the reality of that!  I’ve been so blessed in my 5 years of caring for kiddos!  My oldest child in my care will enter Kind. in the fall…I’ve had her since she was 9 months old.  All the others (3,2, 1.5) I’ve had since birth!  It also brings on the reality that we are now a single income family.  I’ve NEVER not worked in our married life and always worked one job with babysitting on the side since I was…oh I have no idea….throwing a newspaper, babysitting, working at the nursing home, PCA in college, and then my dream of teaching.

So the ball is rolling.  First inspector today, another on Wednesday, appraiser or 2 later this week.  First legal docs signed and sent in.  More coming tomorrow.  Lots of little things to do and one biggie to finish house painting!! Should pick realtor this week and get a sign in the yard!! Yeah!!!

NINE MONTHS-

Stats- 25 lbs 3 oz.

.: What You’re Wearing- 18 months in separates, 24 if a one piece outfit, shoes not sure w/ your fat little foot!

.: Firsts- crawling everywhere FAST, pulling up, walking along furniture and even standing alone for short times, fishing trip, MO trip to see Great Papa Brennan.

.: From Head To Toe- your hair has grown so much in the last month and the humidity makes the curls even better!  Daddy calls it hippy hair and demands a cut…but Mama & Gma say no! Has one tooth and working hard on the other. Got some allergies & goopy eye.

.: Loves- laughing, getting into the cabinet with books, push cars back and forth, following mama, magnets on the fridge, swinging, racing to the stairs before the gate is put up, climbing,

.: Dislikes- all the falls involved in trying to be mobile, sleeping long periods of time

.: Eating- same as before although you’ve been eating a bit less due to allergies I think, bottle every 4-5 hours, cereal and fruit for bfast, jar of veggie & fruit for lunch and supper, likes puffs, cheerios, biter biscuits, wagon wheels, etc

.: Sleeping- goes to sleep about 8 or 9, wakes about 11 goes back down quick, eats about 1:30 and sleeps until 7ish

Going to miss these curls…not sure the dry AZ weather will make his hair like this…

It was a super looong month.  So many events, so many changes…it hit me the other day there will be only one more “month” post before we’ll be on our way west :(  One thing is certain in the business of the next 6 weeks…you’ll continue to grow, change and probably start walking! Yikes!

THREE YEARS-

Hard to believe our “big guy” is a big 3 year old! I look at this picture and see how much he has thinned in the face and kinda lost that “baby look or baby face”.  Where did it go?  When did that disappear and how did I missed it!?!?!  We had a great weekend celebrating his birthday.  Started the weekend in Topeka/Melvern celebrating with the Brennan and Burnett fams.  After church today we celebrated at home with Matt’s family. 

He was spoiled with lots of Cars, Dragons, Diego & “Starblightyear” which translates to Buz0zlight year.  Movies, PJS,  cars, trucks, jeeps, Buzzlight year jet pack & dart gun, Big wheel bicycle, little people dinosaurs to add to our collection of Little People, stuffed Buzz, kite & bubbles!!  Lots of fun to keep him busy!

Even last week if you asked him how old he was he’d say “four”.  I worked on showing 3 with his fingers…he got frustrated and when I’d ask how old he was he’d hold his hand toward me and say…”you do it mommy!”

Mother’s day that is.  My one goal this year was to get pictures- I’m only talking snapshots here- of me with my kids.  I had been reviewing pictures to submit for a slideshow at church the week prior and realized I have like NO pictures of me and my kids, my mom or MIL with my kids!!?!?!?  Tons of daddy & grandpa pics!  Time for the men to get behind the cameras!! :)

Well I failed at that one mission.  It was a mad dash to get out the door to church for baby dedication…our church does it each year on Mother’s Day.  This year was Isaac’s turn.  Went to lunch after church and the kids were undressing and changing before it occurred to me we had not taken pictures!!! GRR!

The MIL and I headed to Newton Outlet.  She had something to exchange and I’m always up to a Carter’s shopping trip.  I got outfits for the boy’s 9 month & 3 year pics we’ll have next week.  Got a nightgown for Emma b/c that’s all they have in her size :(  I love Carters…hate that most of the options for her size are “mini” teenage looks.

I was surprised with these from the kids…

Hope everyone had a very Happy Mother’s day where you took a moment to appreciate the mother’s in your life and those little blessings that call us mommy!

We had great fun traveling to MO the first weekend in May for my Grandpa Brennan’s 85th birthday party!  I was so glad he could make it as the day before he fell and was banged up complete with a broken wrist!  He was still in physical therapy for his injured shoulder from a previous fall!  Wishing him a speedy recover!  He’s always been a very active guy!

We met outside of Crane MO near my aunt Lisa’s house at this nice little spot.  There was a covered, screened in building with a small kitchen and bathroom. 

The kids had tons to do…

Play down at the creek-

Swing on the tree swings-

There was also a “jumpoline” (trampoline) and swing set with slipper slide and teeter totters. 

We had a yummy dinner of BBQ and all the fixin’s followed by birthday cake of course!

Here’s the man of honor-  Luckily as scared as my children are of Santa, they aren’t scared of Great Papa!

 

First time in a while that all 8 of Grandpa’s kids have been together-

All of us…Grandpa his kids, grandkids & great grandkids- (minus Stacy, Jenny, Nathan, Amber, Melissa, Chris & Sabastian)

Grandpa with just the great grandkids-

Other cute pics from the beautiful day-

Madison & Emma-

My dad & Isaac-

 

My brother and Isaac- (love this pic!)

 

Diane & I’s attempt at our traditional picture together… 

      

It was raining as we arrived, but turned out to be beautiful weather!  There was an air of sadness for me knowing I won’t see several of these family members for a while…we traditionally do Thanksgiving together, but we are unsure what Thanksgiving will look like for us this year…

So I’ve kinda fallen off the FB and blogging world since about March.  For good reason in my opinion, but here’s my attempt at explaining why and what new things lay ahead for my life as a friend, mother and wife…

First of all I HATE sharing this this way, however thanks to STUPID Cox Communication my email is down that has ALLL my email addresses, so email is not an option.  A status update seemed bad too.  So, here I go…

I’m not quite sure where to start.  There’s no sugar coating it…after many, MANY years of talking, discussing & debating about moving for Matt’s job we’ve made the agonizing decision.  With in the new 2 months or so we’ll be moving to the hot, HOT spot of Arizona.  Yes, so far away.  I could explain for hours how many times we (really “I”) held Matt back from taking opportunities with his job b/c I didn’t want to move.  Nope.  No change for me!  We talked about it when we were first married, we even visited TX when preggers with Emma.  TX came up several times and with each new division opening we’d discuss it.  Just this February we sat down and decided what cities we’d be interested in moving to.  Our short and not so flexible  list was Tulsa, Kansas City and maybe Dallas. I had all sorts of excuses why we couldn’t do it.  Family, money, friends, etc.

Well last week Matt came home from work and mentioned he’d received a job offer.  The timing of this offer is something I’ve spent many of hours questioning God about- but I’ll get to that.  What’s different this time is he gets his pick of Tulsa or Arizona instead of just “throwing his name in the hat” for the job they chose for him.  While Tulsa would seemed more logical to some, in the case of seeing family, it didn’t hold the opportunity that AZ does.  Opportunity, not necessarily more $$.  I’d never want anyone to think dollar signs would tempt me to leave my family & dear friends. NEVEReverever.  Yes it will be more, but when you account that I’m losing my job…not really more $$.

Matt has been chosen/requested to move to AZ to work at the QT Distribution Warehouse  that contains all the product such as lids, cups, straws, all things QT that are shipped out to stores AND the QT Kitchens that make all their food products. (Hotzies, donuts, cookies, sandwiches, etc)  Food is an area QT plans to grow in a lot in the coming years and this is a great opportunity for Matt to get in on the beginning stages of it.  His role at first is quite similar to his job now.  Hiring, training & firing of the hundreds of employees.  His job is to create a a program for the facility to follow where employees follow standards, are held to fair and consistent standards and are trained appropriately.  Or so I think…it’s all a bit fuzzy b/c…

Fast forward an hour after Matt received news of this job and he gets a call from me.  We hadn’t shared yet, but we had found out in March we were expecting.  Very much a surprise, but very much welcomed after the shock wore off.  Home tests were not very accurate and actually read negative.  But the 2 Dr. blood tests showed I was in fact expecting.  That all changed last Thursday.  Upon returning home from MOPS I discovered something was not right.  I called my Dr. and Matt.  He met me at the Dr. office and between the exam and sono shared that he had “work news”.  At that point I was NOT prepared to discuss that.  By days end we had in fact been informed this pregnancy was not going to last.  I was always excited when learning of expecting a baby and had NO idea how devastating the news of losing a baby at 2 months could be.

It almost seemed as though the past week has drug on slower than any time in my life.  There’s been so much to digest in such a short time.  So many questions as to why God chose this specific timing.  I mean each event in it’s own is enough.  But all in one day.  All in a 2 hour time span.  Overload is where I have been!  And since making our moving decision I’m still there!

I would worry that maybe all the stress lead me to making a rash decision about moving, but that is the simply amazing part.  I’ve experienced more anxiety when just discussing moving before than what I feel about our decision this time.  I decided to live Monday as if we had decided to move.  Tuesday I tried to live as if were weren’t and it is unexplainable how different I felt.  It’s almost as if God changed my eyesight, like I was looking through a different lens.  Looking around the house or driving through Derby, didn’t feel the same.  I felt as if there wasn’t the “I can’t leave” connection I had felt before. And had this nagging that we should go.

We both kind of agree that had I not lost the baby and in fact were going to have a 4th child we wouldn’t have even discussed moving.  That was hard to hear and realize.  Painful to think that losing a baby somehow directed and focused us on a plan.  Still saddens me.  Having a 4th child and living here is surrounded with feelings of joy, where moving half way across the country is a mixture of every sad and scary emotion.

Now do NOT get me started on thinking about the relationships I’ m leaving behind, because well that will take a looong time to accept.  I just have this overwhelming feeling that this is what we should do.  There’s a peaceful feeling I have about living there.  The moving, the leaving stirs lots of stress within me, yet I know it’s the right thing for Matt’s job and well he’s worked very hard over the years at QT and all of our retirement “eggs” are in his basket since I’ve not worked in 7 years.

My prayers are many and all across the board…one that all our friends and family will try to understand and support our decision.  Second that we will find a neighbor or friend of some sort for Emma to play with and perhaps a mother on our street that is also home that I can get to know.  And that God will continue to open or close doors as this process continues.  He already had opened doors that we feel point us in this direction.  I pray we find a church and quickly develop a support system.  It’s our goal and prayer to be conservative in our living as to afford to visit home often.  Matt gets 3 weeks vacation and I’d hope to return for a couple weeks each summer.  Pray that Allegiant Air stays in Wichita for reasonable airfare. I pray the job goes well and QT offers Matt a job back closer to home in the next 3-5 (dream) or 6-7 (yikes) years…please not longer than that.  Probably not going to be Wichita, but maybe KC or Tulsa.  I pray this is a chapter or season of our life that will end and  move us toward better things as our children grow and our parents age.

There’s so many things that I will miss that are quite little in comparison to some things one might miss…annual things like Fair Days, Labor Day celebration, Bake Day, MOPS,  scrappin/CropAGanza, Buzzards with my fam, church with Matt’s fam, the list could go on…and I seriously doubt this will be the last of the news on moving OR me medically as apparently I can’t miscarry appropriately and may face procedures next week for that…why…really WHY??!!

Consider yourself lucky to get the news this way.  You’re spared the tears & snotty runny nose with sniffling you’d have to endure on the phone or in person….ta ta for now…

In true late fashion…

Stats- 23lbs at the last appt. for yucky nose drainage

.: What You’re Wearing- 18 months – which is fitting in length & around, size 4 shoe

.: Firsts- Looong trip to TX to Riverwalk & Sea World, met  Uncle Johnnie & Jeanne, crawling, pulling up, Easter in Melvern & Atlanta, tooth, in big boy rear facing car seat, first time swinging at the park, starting to hold baba & first burn on his fingers! Ouch!

.: From Head To Toe- long, curly reddish hair.  Still flips and curls when you get sweaty, still fighting neck rash, got a shiny white tooth, loves to move & chew on EVERYTHING

.: Loves- chewing and drooling, pulling off your socks, crawling to get into pots and pans, dog dish, etc, playing in the hall bath, unrolling TP or scooting stool back and forth, saying “dadadadada”

.: Dislikes- quite frustrated when first crawling at not having the speed to keep up with mama, green foods, baby food meat, stage 3 “chunky” food

.: Eating- bottle every 4-5 hours, cereal and fruit for bfast, jar of veggie & fruit for lunch and supper, likes puffs, cheerios, biter biscuits, wagon wheels, etc

.: Sleeping- a lot can change in a month!  Now staying up later than the other 2 kids…it’s like you figured out you can have us all to yourself.  :)  Still waking up once a night for bottle and then again about 6, but if left along you’ll usually go back to sleep.

A few shots of various “firsts” for the last month-

Isaac waiting at Sea World while E, A & Mommy were on a roller coaster…

 

Swinging like a Big Boy.  He LOVED it!

 

First Easter…complete with tie…

 

Holding Baba with blisters from burn…

 

One of his favorite activities…

 

A standing big boy…

 

 

That first birthday is quickly approaching…I can’t believe it!