Our God. Our God.

(I’ll spare you my singing as Chris Tomlin does it best…take a listen at the bottom of the post.)

I sit in disbelief that 2 weeks have passed since Isaac’s accident.  Two weeks I’ve had with my healthy baby, that for a short time following the accident I wondered if life as I knew it would ever be the same.  Two weeks of feeling incredibly blessed beyond measure.

I shared the details of the accident in my last post “What Happened”, but left out what I feel is the utmost important of all details…the bits & pieces of that day that some would all “coincidences”, but I call the plan of my God.  A God that cares about the smallest of details in my life. {psst..BTW he cares about yours too!}

So, here listed in a random, yet bulleted way are the praises & evidence of God’s protective, healing hand on my baby & on each detail of that day.

Thankful for Isaac’s location.  Had he been further into the road he would have been knocked down & ran over.  His exact location, her speed & timing of braking resulted in him being thrown out of the roadway.  As quickly as my cousin ran to pick him up there were off duty EMTs & an emergency room nurse (neighbor of mine when I was a child) there to assess him.  Emergency care transport was very close to us as they were lined up to drive in the parade that was about to begin. 

There were so many family members and friends surrounding us that helped contact family, care for Emma & Aidan & provide support for me.  I was able to load & leave with Isaac & not have a worry about the other 2 kids.  Such a relief. My aunt, cousin & brother in law stayed with the other kids keeping the evening “normal” for them.  Finished watching the parade, got cotton candy & made smores at Mimi’s house. So happy they were cared for and loved on in a time that must have been scary in their little worlds.

The timing was just right as Matt had arrived in KS the night prior.  His parents picked him up from the Wichita airport late Friday night after catching a different flight b/c his first was canceled.  His15 year class reunion was scheduled for Saturday evening.  We had first hoped his reunion would be the following Saturday the 2nd so I could go with him, but the class opted for the 25th instead.  Yay!!  If it had been the 2nd Matt would not have been in KS at the time of the accident.  3 hours away was much better than 20 hrs.  Thankfully at the reunion was his sister (married one of his classmates) so they were the ones to receive the call &  drive Matt to the hospital.

Blessed that a long time family friend was in town staying with us at moms. Due to unfortunate loss in her own life she is well versed in medical situations. She asked just the right questions of the paramedics that helped me get answers when I was an all out mess.  She rode to the hospital with mom & home with us.

Grateful that in the parade crowd around us was a friend of my sister & brother in laws, who happened to be the photographer that took my maternity pics when I was preggers with Isaac & had taken pics of the kids earlier in the week, & a very strong prayer warrior.  As cries were coming out of my mouth somewhere deep inside I knew God was calling me to work through it all and find a bit of rest in the promises of his protection & provision for my life & Isaac’s.  Unable to compose myself & form complete thoughts she came to the crowd surrounding me as I knelt on the ground and said “pray Teresa, PRAY!” And she did.  And I must admit that thinking back to all the commotion following the accident I can remember various people coming up to me, various people saying reassuring words like “it’s going to be ok” or “he’s crying that’s a good sign” or “calm down Teresa”, yet they are all kind of a blur.  But I can distinctly remember parts of her prayer.  Praying that God would send angels to protect Isaac.  That God would provide healing for Isaac.  She prayed for me to have strength, peace & calm.  It was after her prayer I gained composure as they needed me to go be with Isaac. My poor baby boy being held down to remain still & placed on a back board & head “brace”. But PTL alive. With no visible open injuries. God & His angles at work.

As we were transported to the hospital I just touched Isaac & rubbed his arms & legs to calm him.  He cried for the first hour & a half and calmed once half way to Topeka.  I worried most about the possibility of head injury, internal injuries or broken bones. With the “brace” around his head I couldn’t tell if there was any visible swelling.  I knew from a past injury where Aidan sported a golf ball goose egg from falling off 2 steps onto a tile floor head first that outward swelling after an impact is good…no outward swelling is a sign of potential swelling “inside”.

I many times thought of the verse “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”.   God had dealt me more than I could handle at that moment, yet I knew that sometimes He does that to force us to rely on Him.  And that I was. The EMT did a great job trying to distract me from worrying & I gently tried my best at getting them to drive faster!! :) I had wondered along the way if a book I was currently reading about a family that had a child suffer an extreme injury due to a car accident, yet the family held tight to God, or the recent diagnosed of our minister with an incurable disease yet accepts that God’s will may not be exactly what he had planned for his life wasn’t preparation for my heart for what I was going to be facing.  More on that another time.

To my amazement, and the amazement of others all CT scans & 2 different chest X-rays all came back clear. So did his urine indicating no internal bleeding.  Hit by a car & thrown yet only a scratch. (that didn’t even leave a scar!) Each bone in tact.  No precious organs bruised or damaged.  Not even a night of observation, although mama would have preferred for her own sanity!!

They had just removed him from the restraints and board when Matt, Chris & Mandy arrived.  Isaac was EVERYWHERE!!  Flipping and flopping all over the hospital bed. Doing his best to dive off in any direction.  Flirting with the nurse, Holly, giving her “team” (fist bumps) with a big cheesy grin and flirtatious eyes!  Fairly certain when Matt walked in he thought “you had me rush here for this?!?”. :) But once I explained what had happened he was grasping at the miracle I had just begin to try and process.

The accident occurred right before 7 pm and by 11:30 pm we were dismissed from the ER.  Heading home to Mom & Dad’s to “sleep” I was finally in bed around 3 and maybe slept for an hour.  All I could do was hold my baby and look at how perfect in health he was.  He slept great and napped well the next day.  Ran and played non stop as if nothing had ever happened.  Leaving us adults & especially the eye witnesses the job of processing it.

The day following the accident & later as the week progressed we received phone calls, messages, & visitors many of whom where in the crowd, most of whom witnessed him getting hit.  It’s been apparent to me how vastly different it is for those who witnessed it to process & “heal” from what occurred.  People I know & some I do not are struggling to rid their brain of the sound &/or visual of the accident. I have been haunted that b/c what I feel was lack of supervision on my part lead to other people having this terrible imaged engrained in their head. Or I know for others it brought them back to a painful time in their life where they experienced trauma or loss. With time I pray & must believe it will get better.  However, I also believe to keep the miracle  & healing God provided into perspective it’s also important that I do remember seeing my baby curled around a car bumper & thrown.  Scary as it was.  If I forget the indescribable, gut wrenching feeling in my stomach & in my heart I might lose sight of how great my God is.

I can only hope that sharing our story, the against the odds outcome & our giving the glory where it belongs pulls someone closer to God or maybe even introduces Him to them. Because without Him I could have easily had no hope, no healing & allowed this to unravel my life.  I could have let guilt, anger or resentment fill my heart.

Exactly a week to the day of the accident there are no, I mean NO marks indicating an accident.   Swelling gone. Bruising did not worsen as Dr predicted and is now absolutely gone.  Under arm & forehead scrapes lost their scabs & left no lasting scar.  Completely.Unbelievable.

(Taken just before he went swimming & lost his scab. Can barely see it on the left side of his forehead)

Matt might have said it best (& in a much shorter) manner…there are no explanations for how he faired so well in such an accident.  There’s no one we can point to that humanly did anything to make his healthy outcome what it is.  Leaves only One to give the credit. 

And that we will.

I ask for continued prayer for some of my family & myself that have taken on guilt & part of the blame or “coulda, shoulda, or what if”.  There are so many ways this accident could have went, but so very thankful that we have a healthy boy that spends lots of time in trouble to help us work through it all. Please also pray for the driver.  She is most likely shaken & having to process this as well.

This week & the coming will be an adjustment.  Back “home” to AZ.  Missing family & friends.  Readjusting back home.  Working though detox from family fun & grandma treats. The mess of insurance companies & hospital bills will begin…dealing with insurance companies ranks up there as one of my least favorite activities.  I pray it progresses with ease.