Sunday, November 7, 2010

That’s Mrs. Hypocrite to you.

Hypocrite- Hey that’s me!!! A realization I came to as I sat down to tell Emma that her bestest friend she met our 2nd week here is moving.  The friend that lived 2 doors over and was always ready to play.  A friend that she spent allll school day with and then usually several hours each evening.  A sweet girl that I always enjoyed having in our home.  She has a very gentle & calm spirit.  I’ve never seen 2 little girls spend that much time together and cat fight sooo little! I will miss Emma’s semi-clean room  since I can no longer say “she can’t come over unless your room is clean”.

Our conversation (between sessions of holding her and crying) was filled with lies like these:

“It’s hard to leave a friend honey, but you’ll meet new friends.  You’re a sweet girl.  We’ll have to call up some of the other girls we’ve met at the park or that are in your class and take time to get to know them.”

“My heart hurts each day that I am away from my friends. It’ll be hard, but it will get better with time.”

“Don’t let this get you angry & grumpy about going to school.  I know it’s hard but we have to understand that God has a plan.  He brought her in your life for a reason and although we don’t understand why such a great friend is leaving we have to trust.”

“She will probably come back to visit her dad and when she does we will get to see her.  You two can have fun times then.”

Me = Liar Liar pants on fire.  It isn’t easy.  It’s hard to put yourself out there to meet others.  It takes a great deal of time, that I have yet to reach, where it get’s easy NOT having your friend near.  Not having that support and connection makes ya in a funk and it’s super hard to NOT let that seep into other areas creating a grumpy monster.  You will get to see her again, yet that time that should be fun is clouded with the fact that it will be far to short of a visit and lead to yet another good-bye.

For me it’s lunch dates, for you it’s play dates.  For me it’s a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear, for your it’s a partner to play your little “patty-cake, hand slappin” games with.  For me it’s late night talks in a quiet house of sleeping kiddos, for you it’s late night movie & slumber party.  For me it’s working along side a sister in Christ at church events, working and serving together, for you it’s sharing the excitement of taking your non-churched friend to a new exciting church. For me it’s the hug when I’m down & words of encouragement at just the right time, a fellow mother that understands, for your it’s having that friend who’s sick of playing with her little brother too who likes to play school, ride bikes & make silly videos singing silly songs.

I pray that she will be flooded with other sweet friends.  I pray that she will talk with me when she is hurting and work through her sadness.  Going to school has not been a fight this year, I pray that continues with Aaleiyah now absent each day.

And mostly I pray that as we go through the next few weeks or months that I will force myself to reach out just as I’m expecting my 6 yr old to do.

Ouch.  I’m convicted.  It hurts and bygolly I don’t like it.


The Akins Family said...

I completely understand! We go through it every 3 years and it just stinks! My heart broke for Jackson the first time his 1st true friend left, then the 2nd and 3rd friend....then he was that friend to leave. And now he has SUCH good friends here and just thinking about how one day he will have to leave them makes me cry just thinking about it!
I hope she gets along great! Good Job mamma!

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